Author: Moyo the God addict
Source: Matthew 1

When it comes to genealogy, men are often mentioned as they are the ones that carry the gene. However, in the case of Jesus some women were mentioned. Let’s take a look at the women and their lives.

1. Tamar (Phares’s mother): Matthew 1: 3
The story of Tamar is found in Genesis 38. Judah had three sons; Er, Onan and Shelah. Judah got Er a wife (Abraham got Isaac a wife too, so if your Father brings you a wife don’t be angry… Hahaha), that wife was Tamar (Genesis 38: 6).
Then, God killed Er, yeah you read well.


Er was wicked in God’s sight.

The Bible is filled with many wicked people as well as this present age and some of them live long. For this guy to have been so wicked to warrant death, I can bet he extended that wickedness to his wife Tamar, remember she had no child.


Following the Jewish custom, since Er had no child before he died his brother ought to marry Tamar (remember Naomi said in Ruth 1: 11-13 that she had no more sons to give her daughters in-law and even if she has a son today, they sure cannot wait for the child to grow.


Also, the disciples referred to his custom in Matthew 22: 24-30 when they asked Jesus that if a man dies without a child, and his brother marries the wife and all seven brothers married the woman because they died without children, at resurrection who will be the woman’s husband? Then Jesus said there is no marriage in heaven, so, Onan was made to marry Tamar.

After the wedding when they had sex, Onan did coitus interruptus meaning that he didn’t ejaculate in Tamar.


Let’s analyse this, Tamar was given to Onan for the purpose of having a child. It is possible that Tamar does not even have any form of affection for Onan but, her feelings didn’t matter, just give birth.


Here goes Onan, ‘pouring sand inside Tamar’s Garri’ meaning he made life more complicated for her. How more can you frustrate a woman? She has gone through been married to a wicked man, I can imagine her walking on the street and someone her husband was wicked to come to meet her angrily in a bid to take out what her husband did on her.


The bad marriage was not enough, she had no child too. Then, she became a widow. I can imagine her asking “who do me?”, “Baba God, when I do you?”, “Na only me sin for this world?”


Then hope comes, she was told to marry Onan and if it is today’s world she may probably go to that room fasting, declaring and speaking in tongues “o Lord, this one must turn to a baby today not tomorrow”, then Onan decides to do this.

Tamar must have been depressed, she must have cried so much till there were no more tears in her eyes. People would have asked, why two brothers had her but she could not make a baby. ‘The fault is all yours Tamar’ she would have been told.

But God saw what Onan did and decided to kill Onan (Genesis 38:10), Tamar became a widow for the second time. Hmmnn…


Following their custom, Tamar was meant to marry Shelah but Judah said this isn’t going to happen so, he told Tamar to go to her Father’s house. Humanly speaking, I don’t blame Judah for this decision.


Tamar spent several years in her father’s house wearing a widow’s garment (Genesis 38:14). Her friends who were not married when she first married Er would have sure married and had all their children by now.


Her life seemed fast at first, but now it seems God has chosen not to answer her telephone calls anymore, every time she calls God it is voicemail. I credit her for not attempting suicide, with all that life hit her with.


Judah forgot Tamar!

Judah has lost two sons and then his wife (Genesis 38:12), it is sad enough to lose a child, losing two children followed by their mother is unbearable. It sure makes human sense not to risk losing Shelah, by making him marry Tamar.


I believe Tamar must have been a nice person, because someone that knew Judah’s movement decided to inform her and babe didn’t take the back seat, she took the strategic decision and acted fast. She acted like a prostitute and sat where Judah was going to pass.


Did you discover that prostitutes dressed covered in those days? They sure appear more covered than the typical 21st century Christian.


Genesis 38:14 Tamar was aware that Shelah had grown up, but no arrangements had been made for her to come and marry him. So she changed out of her widow’s clothing and covered herself with a veil to disguise herself.


Then she sat beside the road at the entrance to the village of Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah.


Genesis 38:15 Judah noticed her and thought she was a prostitute since she had covered her face.


The rest they say is history. Judah had sex with Tamar once and the same Tamar who had no child all these years after two marriages had a set of twin boys; Zarah and Phares. Phares became one of the forefathers of Jesus Christ.


Dear woman, life may have hit you blue-black, you may even be undergoing depression with suicidal thoughts. Why not hang in there? Delay is not denial, yes I know you have heard this several times; I wish I could give you 5 steps to blah blah blah and it will work but hey, in my few years on planet Earth I have realized that everyone’s journey is unique and there is no one size fit all handout. All of Tamar’s friends that had it smooth didn’t make it to Jesus’ hall of fame.


After the ‘third husband’, Tamar produced a seed that would birth our Lord Jesus Christ.


Hold on my lady, s(he) who laughs last laughs best.

To be continued…


Click on the link below to read the second episode

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