Written by: Edet Crownofglory Patience

Many times, friends and family ask a “one million naira” question from me. Today, I’ll be sharing the question as I also provide answers to the question.

The question is: “With all these articles you continually post, how much are you being paid?”

You see that? People will always want to know your reason for doing things.

And my answer has always been; “No one is paying me anything. I am only doing what I love doing and I’m passionate about it.

What is that thing? you might want to know.

Well, I’m passionate about saving lives and adding value to lives, this has been the motive behind all I have been doing.

No one is paying me to write or post on my blog, at least for now, but it won’t be a crime if I get paid. However, I am only serving God in my own little way. You got it?

On this note, I’ll like to reveal to you that recently I embarked on a ‘Suicide Mission’. Oh! Please, don’t be scared, for I’m still alive.

All right, I mean I almost embarked on a spiritual suicide.

You still don’t understand, read along.

Recently I had a ruckus with one of my kid brothers, to the point that I was really vibrating.

I mean my feet were vibrating right on the spot I stood.

Yes, I was really angry because he did something wrong.

No, I’m not gonna tell you what he did but all I’ll say is that he really did annoy me.

You know Mr. serpent right? He wasted no time in coming around to accuse me, thereby he made me feel guilty. Don’t forget what the Bible calls him, ‘the accuser of brethren’.

Instantly, I felt bad, I spoke to God silently begging Him to forgive.

You know the Bible says “Be angry and sin not.”

I was really angry and I committed a sin during the anger.

I don’t want to justify myself but I was rude during that process, and that was my pain point.

Why didn’t I listen to the advice I was given.

As a result of my actions – anger, I became feeble that I couldn’t pray. I found myself too dirty to approach Him again.

I know some will say, ‘sheby’ it’s a small thing.

Yes, you’re right.

As small as it was, I lost my peace.

Two days later, I was embittered by my brother’s actions that I lost my appetite for food, though I was hungry. Yet, I punished myself.

All for this, I became totally weak. In my weakness, I reached out to my spiritual friends and mentors, to the glory of God, they rallied round me. Some prayed with and for me, while some told me to find my peace by begging God for forgiveness right on my knees.

I did all they said

But at some point, I almost lost everything.

I felt like giving up everything and just live my life like that.

I was tired and I wanted to give up. I wanted to commit spiritual suicide.

I wanted to give up on everything including the Bible and God (God forbid), I wanted to live life as it came. I felt the burden of being a Christian is too much.

But then, I see youths that need to be reached. I can’t bear to see them go astray.

Though, I was at the verge of committing this spiritual suicide, yet, I couldn’t, because I realised that one person out there needs me to survive – I am not God but my guidance will help them out.

Dear reader, do you know what the devil enjoys most? The devil enjoys to see you weak and vulnerable. This vulnerability makes you unable to pray; thereby leaving you open to attacks. Please, never leave that tiny rope call HOPE.

Do you know how he operates? He comes subtly to you, makes you feel weak and phew! He attacks. God forbid.

At my weakest moment, I kept on pleading for mercy.

Do you know that the devil doesn’t disturb ‘gloryless’ people. He disturbs people with glory and fire and once they’re vulnerable, he does with them whatever he likes.

By the way, I’m not saying that God creates people without glory, all I’m saying is that at some point, they lost their glory.

Little wonder those great brothers and sisters in faith fall and remain down.

Honestly, it’s not easy for a backslider – Christian to return to the Father, because of the manipulation of the devil. However, if and only if this backslider ignores shame and reaches out to people for help, then he/she will be helped.

I remember how I called about five of my spiritual friends and the only one that picked his call was in a noisy place. Oh! the devil is a bastard looking for your downfall.

Will you allow Him?

Will you give room to the devil to ruin your life here on earth and in eternity?

What will you tell your Creator when you get home?

Will you tell Him that you couldn’t bear just a little part of the pain Jesus bore for you?

Oh dear brothers and sisters, His grace is sufficient unto us.

Leave that slump and miry clay and seek Jesus today, for He alone is the answer to your problems.

Don’t forget He said “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” meaning that what the world offers you is heavier compare to what Christ is willing to give you.

Oh rise up my weary friends, Jesus is ready to forgive your sins and “make you whiter than snow”, no matter the gravity of your sins.

Repent and come home, for He cares for you.

I am here to assist you on this journey.

Hope you read how I escaped spiritual suicide by calling on friends and by continually pleading for mercy?*

When you fall, please, don’t stay down, seek for help.

No matter your sins, don’t commit spiritual suicide because Jesus is ready to make you “white as snow”.


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9 Replies to “How I Escaped Suicide

  1. God bless you sis, may the devil not score any point against us.The way you handled the situation is actually encouraging and inspiring.May God not leave us to ourselves in the time of challenges and may he direct us to the right people at the right time.

  2. Everything you just said is correct. That’s why the bible reminds us to keep watch always, and cease not in prayer.

  3. The devil, always hanging around believers seeking whom he may destroy. And he always comes at our weakest moment.
    May God help us to be watchful and vigilant in order to avoid being a prey to the devil

  4. Thank you ma.

    It is expected for individuals to brace up and be optimistic because most times, what happens to us doesn’t matter, BUT how we handle it

  5. Yes, Jesus told Peter, when thou art strong strengthen your brethren, also in the multitude of counsel, there is safety. Thanks coach.

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